I was choosing pictures to be printed and realized that we haven’t had Abi’s pictures from March printed yet. So I browsed the files.
Something hit me. I started to get teary eyed. Fine, I was oversensitive when people (who matter!) would comment that Abi was too skinny back then. I would get defensive and say that’s because we’re still waiting for my milk to become sufficient. Yes, I felt guilty back then and also felt so inadequate. Yet I was too stubborn to give in thinking that I am doing what is best for my daughter.
I was crying looking at Abi’s pictures in February and March. My Klaire looked (or really was!) malnourished! The picture on the left is better than most of the shots, I had to choose this picture so I won’t feel too bad. She was practically skin and bones! Was I a bad mother? Her pictures are telling me that I was a fool and that I wasn’t armed with the best information available.
Now I look at my little princess and decide that she’s better off with formula.
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4 comments:
waaahhh! ang cute ng smile nya!!!
Hindi naman Mommy Kaje. Ganyan din si Julia noon. Parang payat siya. Mixed feeding kasi ang ginagawa ko noon eh. Morning and evening ako nag papa BF sa kanya. Okay lang na hindi ka matagal nag BF - tignan mo hindi magiging sakitin si Abi. Cute cute na nga nya eh. Ms Cheeks, parang si Julia - hehe! Lawlaw ang pisngi - kaka-kiss yan, hihi! Don't feel bad Mommy - SMILE :)
ninang mae, uwi ka na hahaha - Abi
@jhari - you're so nice, naku kung makita mo ibang pics, naawa ako talaga. buti na lang she's gaining na, sana maging kasingtaba sila ni J mo :) naku kakukurot yan, kaya lawlaw na pisngi, di makapagpigil ang tatay at mga tito
Huwag maging malupit sa sarili. May mga batang matataba, may payat. May itim, may maputi. May matangkad, may pandak. Hindi sukatan ng health ang laki ng katawan. Ang mahalaga, hindi sakitin. OK? OK. *hugs* :)
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